April 11th, 2012 
LeeAnn If I look back over the last eleven years, I see the consistency and presence of truly one of the most significant connections of my life.
It involves a love so intense that it is at times painful.
It involves a partnership in which the partners communicate without speaking.
It involves an incredible loyalty and devotion on both sides.
It involves my sweet Gracie and me.
Gracie is always on my mind, but even more so as her eleventh birthday (April 15th) is quickly approaching.
Eleven is old in bulldog years. In my lifetime of bulldogs, I have never been fortunate enough to have one live this long – or, frankly, even close.
When my husband and I got married, we were the animal equivalent of the Brady Bunch. He had two dogs (English Setters – Maggie and Scout) and I had two cats (Oprah and her sister Rosie). The animals combined easily – although I think the cats were a little frustrated as the dogs paid them no attention whatsoever.
Maggie and Scout were highly trained bird dogs and were unlike any dogs that I had ever owned. I think they equated me with the cats and didn’t really pay much attention to me either. They were devoted to my husband.
After about a year, I decided that I needed a dog who acknowledged my presence. Not surprisingly with my history, I gravitated towards the English Bulldog.
My husband and I found a breeder, visited and made our pick of the litter. Three weeks later, we met the breeder in Athens, Georgia and left with a roly poly bundle of love.
The special relationship started right away. She wanted to be held as a puppy, and I was thrilled to accommodate her.
In the mountains or in Savannah, she went everywhere with us. At restaurants we ate outside as puppy Gracie laid in my lap. My husband said he always knew where I was in a store as he could hear people screaming when they saw Gracie.
She lapped up every bit of love I gave her. Some puppies will squirm and get anxious; Gracie never did.
In Savannah, my partners were kind enough to let me bring Gracie to work for the first several months. I didn’t really have a choice. I was working long hours those days and I wasn’t going to leave her home alone. Every day, she would get in the car with me and ride to work, laying across my lap. Once in my office, I put up a doggie gate in my door, and Gracie spent the day playing with toys, chewing bones, and sleeping on my lap.
I had a steady stream of people through my office during the day to visit Gracie. When we went out on the streets of Savannah for walks, traffic would stop. People had to see her, pet her and love on her.
Just before Gracie turned a year old, we discovered that she had hip dysplasia. At the time, I was devastated. It was so hard for me to not be able to explain to her what was going to happen and why. She had surgery on first one hip, followed by physical therapy, and then six weeks later surgery on the other hip. She had to be crated for several weeks after each hip, so that she would not injure herself. I worked from home to be with her and slept on the floor in front of her crate so that she knew I was there. We made it through the ordeal and were even closer – and the hips have lasted ten more years.
Gracie has always loved everyone, but she loves no one like she loves me. When I leave the house, she positions herself to watch for me, and then whenever I get home, she does an incredible happy dance. A friend once said to me that “cats are great, but they don’t do the river dance when you come home.” I am greeted by a 60 pound bulldog doing the river dance every time I enter the house – whether I have been gone for minutes or days.
Our bond is so intuitive. We know what each other is feeling and react accordingly. I have diagnosed every illness or malady that Gracie has suffered very early; I know when something is the slightest bit wrong. At the same time, she knows when I need a little extra attention.
She is my constant companion. I work from home as much as possible so that I can be with her, especially during these senior years. When I am home with her, she lies on the chase lounge in my office with me, but by the windows, constantly watching outside for any threats. 
If my husband is home too, she knows that she can relax a little more and will sleep at my feet.
When someone else is in the house that she does not know, she stays between the other person and me at all times. I always tell people that she is friendly, but warn them not to make any sudden movements towards me as I do not know how she would react. Actually, I think I do.
It pains me to see her getting so old. Her body is wearing out on her. She has a torn meniscus in one of her knees and it is obviously painful for her. She cannot withstand anesthesia at this point, so we keep her on high doses of glucosamine in the hopes that the knee might repair itself, and also pain killers to make her life more comfortable. Her eyes are cloudy with cataracts. Her breathing is especially labored after any physical or mental exertion. When I come in the door now, I try to run to her to meet her, so that she does not have to run the length of the house to get to me.
Until this past year. Gracie was never our only dog. We have always had two or three, and usually two cats. While I have loved each one so much, Gracie and I have always had the special bond. As my husband says, “there will never be another Gracie in your life.” This past year, when we went through the heartbreak of losing another dog, we decided that we would let Gracie and Oprah, now fourteen, live their lives out in peace and serenity.
When I think about my Gracie leaving me, I feel a panic in my chest.
This may sound crazy, but sometimes I worry that she is ready, but won’t let go as she doesn’t want me to grieve.
In the many conversations that I have with her, some of them actually spoken out loud, I assure her that I will be ok.
Because she will never truly leave me.
Posted in 
I remember meeting Gracie when she was a little less than a year old. We were sitting in your office and you asked me if I had any pets. 🙂
Gracie is your family. She will always be with you, no matter what. That’s the strength of a bond like that. And when it’s time for her to move on, the bond you share won’t break. It will simply change into something different.
Give her a sweet cuddle from me!
Jenn – you have known her for most of her life!! Thank you for your kind comments and I will definitely cuddle her for you! xoxo
WOW! Tears are pouring from my eyes. I can relate to this so well. “Our bond is so intuitive. We know what each other is feeling and react accordingly” hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that feeling. When I try to explain it to other people they dont understand. BUT, after reading this I know that I will think of sweet Gracie all day. I am so glad she shares a BIRTHDAY month with me and she, too, is an Aries. Tunie, you are an incredible mom! I know when it is time for her to leave she will go knowing that she had the best life, best parents, best love, and best friend ever! What a lucky dog……what a lucky mommy.
Kelly – I can’t tell you how meaningful your comments and reaction are to me!! For YOU to call me a good mom is huge!! I love how you are such an incredible mother with your human daughters, but then you are also like I am about your Ruthie. Very, very special. It is no surprise to me that you and Gracie share a birth sign! : )
LeeAnn, that made me cry. Such a sweet post. Give Gracie a hug for me.
Thank you Jill!! I cried writing it – sobbed at one point actually, but it felt good to get it out. Will give Gracie a hug for you – give Smudge one for me and I hope she is being a good patient.
I could feel every word of this entry, LA. Shelby turned 11 this week, as well, and I share your fears. We are so lucky to have our sweet girls.
Mer – I knew that you would!! I didn’t realize Shelby and Gracie were the same age. Happy Birthday to sweet Shelby. And we are lucky – to have our girls – and each other as friends.
LeeAnn, of course this makes me cry because of the joy you and Gracie share and the heartbreak of even the thought of being without that glorious happy hug shown in all your pictures. But you will hold each other in your hearts forever. You both know how special that is and will always be. Happy Birthday to Gracie! How will she spend her day?
Thank you Robin!! I know you understand as you have a similar special bond with your Grace. I haven’t decided what we will do on her actual birthday – although it will be something special for her!!
LeeAnn,
My sister, Ellen, has been begging me to read your blog and actually sent me this one. I will never miss another one! The tears are flowing down my face as I write these words as I feel myself in your story.I had to put my Sadie Brown to rest in January and of course, I lost a piece of myself as well. Sadie Brown came to us by way of a moving truck…that is, we own a moving company and found her underneath a truck…she was approx 8 wks old at the time and we had 3 other dogs (our dogs are at work with us every day). When our vet checked her out and handed her over, he told her she had just won the “dog lottery”!! He had it backwards…I had just won the “dog-owner’s lottery”. Sadie Brown developed tumors.. the 4th was malignant, fast and deadly!!! I decided to make the end of her time as worthwhile as I could…never leaving her side for the next 6 months and at the end, sitting on the floor, holding her in my lap and comforting her until she closed her eyes…I think of her every day and I thank you for sharing your story.
Bonnie – your response made me cry!! It is a bad day for me to be in the office – my emotions are so exposed with regard to my sweet Gracie that everyone’s kindnesses make me cry. I have heard about you and your incredible kindnesses from your dear sister. Sadie Brown and all of your animals are so lucky to have you!! That is how I have become with Gracie – I am very hesitant to leave her side, but will not leave her for long periods of time. Thank you for your kind comments – and also for being the animal advocate that you so clearly are!!
LeeAnn…as I stated in my note to you…Sadie Brown and I were stuck together like glue. No one came between us..not even my husband. The last 6 months of her life she slept between the two of us with her head next to mine. My husband’s participation with our dogs and the vet is NOTHING..he states that he can’t handle it..so what am I, chopped liver??? I take each to the vet, administer all medications, feed them, speak the last words they hear and HE, Lord Bless him, say’s “come here Daddy’s son/daughter cause Daddy loves you”, pets them and gives treats! On the fifth day of Sadie Brown’s leaving us I could take it no longer…our “mastiff maltese” (biggest one in Ripley’s)used to groom SB every day so she took to grooming Oliver (John calls him Little Man) who is a silky (1st cousin to Yorkie)and the hair on his face stuck out like he put his paw in a light socket!!I took my husband to Petco to see a 2 yr old female lab/mix and because of John, walked out of there with a 10 wk old male, blk lab/something cute mix!!!! He immediately took to SB’s bed under my desk..cause she sent him, no doubt as worried as she was about me…and the fun had just begun. I would love to keep you posted on his antics as he has the remainder of my heart and we’re now joined at the hip!!!!
Bonnie – so glad that you got a new little one – and would love to be kept up on his antics!!
Very touching! Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I love my Sadie so much, I can’t bear to think of life without her.
Yet there’s something very wonderful about being there throughout all the good times and through to the end. It’s a privilege to be so well loved and trusted.