September 6th, 2011 
LeeAnn Seriously – is it me, or do all women fight a constant battle with their hair?
Mine started very young.
I have thick and curly hair. My mom would have to chase me through the house to try to brush it.
My first cousin and I have very similar hair. I remember once we were on a vacation and the family instituted a rule that she and I could not both ride in the front seat. Apparently our hair melded together and blocked any attempt at a view.
When I was younger and lived in the North, I had more hair.
When I moved to Savannah, I was introduced to real humidity and its effect on thick and curly hair. When I started having to turn sideways to get my hair through door frames, I decided it was time to get it cut.
That was about fifteen years ago. I have tried probably ten times since then to grow it out.
My resolve usually lasts about six to eight weeks, and then I have what my family has (affectionately?) termed a “hair fit” and I have to get it cut. Immediately. If I can’t get into my regular hairdresser (which you cannot often do with no notice), I call around until I find someone who can cut it. Immediately.
If you are logical about this (which I am not when in the midst of a hair fit), one would realize that the hairdressers with last-minute availability may be the ones with the least experience (or said less kindly, who are unskilled). My hair is not easy to cut. The end result is typically a very bad hair day.
I have tried just about every hair style in the book. My hair is not the kind that can be cut in trendy styles. That has never kept me from trying though.
I have always coveted thick and straight hair. I have tried to straighten mine – both with a chemical straightener and with a flat-iron. Again, the Savannah humidity is always victorious and the end result is that I look like I have stuck my finger into an electrical outlet.
For some odd reason, I have allowed myself to be bullied by hair dressers over the years. It is like I lose control over my own head. I almost have to admire the one who talked me into getting a perm when I was in college. I believe the conversation went something like this:
Me: I like straight hair. So, I either need it to be long enough to weigh down the curls, or short enough that there isn’t enough to curl.
Hairdresser: What you need is a perm.
Me: Ok, sounds good.
It was not pretty, but luckily, that is not a mistake I made twice. I think it took someone telling me that I looked like a Q-tip to mark that one off my list.
The one aspect of my hair that I always liked was the color. You might think I wouldn’t mess with that. And you would be wrong. Some hairdresser along the way convinced me that subtle blond highlights would be very attractive.
I guess the subtle highlights were ok, but pretty soon my entire head was blonde. I swear I never made the decision to go blonde – but yet it happened. Whose hair was this?
Apparently, before my husband and I were married, my mom sat him down and warned him about my hair. I am not quite sure what she said, but it must have been along the lines of this:
Mom: dear, we are so excited to have you in the family but just a gentle warning – for your own safety, never comment on or mention your wife-to-be’s hair.
Hubby: (scoffing) oh please – we have a great relationship and she is such a grounded person. I am not worried.
Mom: ok … but you may want to rent Witches of Eastwick. Watch that scene where the woman’s head starts spinning around and she starts spewing cherries. Then at least you will be prepared.
My poor husband. I no longer tell him ahead of time when I am getting my haircut as I am afraid he won’t come home. Once, I innocently asked him if he liked my hair better long or short and I saw absolute terror in his eyes. He had no idea how to answer. I caught him sneaking off to call my mom for advice.
For the last few years, I have worn my hair short and with no highlights or chemicals of any kind. I am finally back to my natural color and even have a white streak in my bangs – which, oddly, I kind of like.
I was just beginning to think that maybe age is finally mellowing me on the whole hair issue, when I saw The Help and fell in love with Skeeter’s hair. Now, I am thinking of growing it long and getting a perm….
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Men have the same problem. I wish I had straight hair too. This humidity in Miami + 98 F keeps you sweating and you curl right up, So I keep the hair very short. And oh, how I had that rich chestnut brown color with flecks of this and that. Interestingly as I aged I skipped the gray and silver stage and went straight to white. Sometimes those men’s hair dye products seem inviting, but naw, I’ve earned everyone of these white hairs.
Carl – glad to know that men are suffering a little too. I bet Miami is very bad hair weather for us with curly hair. I agree with your decision to stay away from the dye products – men look distinguished with white hair.
Absolutely true! You have beautiful hair, Honey. Amazing since you had NO hair until the age of three- lots of frilly bonnets. I love you!
thank you Mama – love you too!
Ha! In a hormonal “fit”, I just told Matt I was cutting off my hair to ear length. He very tactfully begged me not to do that. Men and women have weird feelings about women’s hair! I love your hair — it always looks so effortless.
Ada – thank you!! I think you would look fabulous with ear length – or any length – hair!! Men are weird….
I feel your pain and yes, I think most women obsess about their hair. I finally found a stylist here, but I think she’s often at the end of her rope with me, especially when I say things, like: “What do I want done today? Not sure. I’ll leave it to you. I mean, I think I’m ready for a new style. Something cool and slightly edgy but not too edgy because I have a government job and I don’t really do edgy anywhere else. Oh, and not too short or anything that requires my hair to be stick straight or anything that requires more than a very bad blow dry. And product–I’m not a huge fan or product. Oh, and I won’t use a straightener, so please don’t give me a style that requies a straightner. But yeah, I’ll leave it to you.”
Kiwi Jenn – I know you get this, of all people. You and I are alike here – imagine. Something about the temptation to get “made over.” : )
Article is partially true. LeeAnn’s mother did warn me to never comment on her hair. I never have and will not start now. However,
1. I have never “scoffed” at anything my MIL told me-particularly warnings.
2. I never told her I was not worried about her warnings
3. I have always loved her hair- both before and after changes ( if any).
The poor husband
I think your hair is beautiful! My hair was always painfully straight. No perm would last more than a few days and anything that I tried to tie my hair back with would just slide right out. I always wanted curly hair. Now that I am in my forties, my hair has changed and become a little wavy and more course. We were getting ready to go out the other night and someone…(Brian) asked me (as we were walking out the door) if I was going to fix my hair. Ha! I walked into the bathroom and put it in a ponytail. I love ponytails. Ha ha..
This was awesome! I have never, ever in my life been able to have a hair style! My hair is long and wavy. When I am visiting family on the east coast it can be somewhat curly. Here in very dry Colorado it is straight but not straight. Think Hermione Granger in The Sorcerer’s Stone. I’ve never been able to style it well. I don’t have the patience to blow dry it. And when I do, it looks nice for all of 5 minutes and then it’s a mess. I just realized the other day that I wear my hair the way my grandmother did – up in a bun. I can’t help it. I teach Kindergarten and can’t stand to have hair in my face as I’m teaching so up in a bun it goes! You would think I would cut it short, but my hair looks terrible short! Thanks for the giggle!
This was hysterical reading! My hair is really, really thick, so I also reach a point when I immediately feel it needs to be cut. Love all the conversations between your husband and mom about the situation and his follow-up comments. Very funny.
[…] My personal favorite posts are the ones dealing with my family: My May-December Romance, A Celebration of the Mothers in my Life, In Anticipation of Father’s Day, and My Big Brother. In terms of humorous posts, I like My Beef with Bikram and Why Am I Never Happy with My Hair. […]
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