July 7th, 2011 
LeeAnn When I was in college, I used to pride myself on my ability to maintain my balance in situations of stress. While I watched those around me pull “all-nighters”, struggle with eating disorders or otherwise deal with the stress of the college environment in ways that I thought were unhealthy, sleep was a priority for me – and it came very easily. Eight to ten hours of sleep a night was a regular occurrence for me. And it was essential for me to keep a positive outlook on life.
I don’t know where I lost that ability, but it is long gone. I am lucky if I get six hours a night of sleep. And occasionally, like Tuesday night, I struggle with full-fledged insomnia. In my thirties, I could understand it; I was under more stress than I had ever experienced in my life with my work. But now, my life has evened out – my time is much more balanced between work and play – even leaning more heavily on the play side.
Everything looks worse to me at night. Problems become insurmountable and even if I don’t have any issues at the time, I manufacture them. Recently, I have lost sleep worrying about snakes. Do I have a problem with snakes? I don’t want one on me, but other than that, no. We are experiencing a severe drought in Savannah and there have been some local news articles on how the snakes are out looking for water. I guess that is what sparked my concerns – and my worry that my pets will run into one.
This week I am struggling with a particular issue and it is very difficult for me not to focus on it while in bed. I could not get it out of my mind on Tuesday night. It is like the old saying “don’t think about pink elephants.” The harder I try, the worse it becomes. That is when sleep becomes the enemy for me. I get mad and try to force myself asleep. As a yoga devotee, I think I can will myself to sleep by employing yoga breathing and relaxation techniques. In the light of day, I can see that the idea of forcing my body to do anything is inconsistent with the yoga principles. When I am tired and cranky, though, I don’t feel like “embracing” my body’s refusal to sleep.
Probably my biggest mistake is that I do not get out of bed. Everything that I have read says get out of bed and do something to distract yourself. I guess I need to do that – I keep thinking that I will go to sleep. I fear that if I get up and get involved in something, I will be up for the night.
I have tried pills such as PM Tylenol and I even have a prescription for Lunesta. I do not like taking them though as I don’t feel well the next day. Occasionally on the weekend, if it has been a really bad sleep week, I will take a Lunesta.
I have examined my life to see what I can change to help this situation. I have reduced my caffeine intake significantly. I always get plenty of exercise. I have reduced my stress levels. All to no avail – I still do not sleep well and struggle with insomnia.
The one thing that works for me most consistently, but not always, is to turn on a mindless television show. I have yet to make it through an entire Cougar Town awake. On Tuesday night, I was able to find an old Will and Grace on at 2:00 a.m. Luckily, the tv does not bother my husband. I can close my eyes and listen to the show, and it will distract me from my worrying and eventually (hopefully) I will doze off.
The day after a night of insomnia is miserable. I look terrible and I feel awful. When my grandmother was in a bad mood, she used to say that she felt like her “hair pulls.” I always loved that expression. Think of how you feel when someone pulls your hair – it makes me grumpy. When I don’t get enough sleep, my hair pulls.
I wanted to do a light and humorous blog post this week, but with my lack of sleep, my sense of humor is lacking. And I am not good at faking things. Maybe next week. As I headed out the door to go to work this morning, I did have to smile, though, as I realized I am not alone.
I think Oprah’s hair pulls too.
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CS Lewis Said:
“There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them.” C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
Try this it helps unpack the whole yoga phenomina:
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/nehemiah/wealth-and-worship
Awwww, hon! I’m so sorry you aren’t sleeping well. I don’t like Ambien or Lunesta because I don’t want to get out of the bed the next day. One prescription that I have found is “hydroxyzine” and it is mild and non-addictive. The way my doctor prescribes it is in 25 mg and I can take 2-4 pills (that’s how low of a dose they are) depending on the level of my insomnia. That way if I just need something to nudge me to sleep then 2 are fine. If I am full-blown wide awake, then I go ahead and take 4. I don’t wake up groggy. I actually sleep. I have had trouble sleeping all of my life so I feel for you! Be careful taking too much of the OTC “pm” meds because I did that too for a while when I didn’t have insurance and it was physically hurting me. I hope you have sweet dreams soon!
Thank you Amy for the suggestion!! I am definitely going to look into that. Take care, LA
Hey LeeAnn! So good to see y’all in the mountains last week! I am sorry about the sleeplessness.
Other than winter and summer solstice, during which I nearly always have trouble sleeping, I generally have never had an issue with sleeping…except once. It was in the months prior to my first (and likely only!) South Carolina Supreme Court oral argument where I was the chief (and only participating) counsel on a matter involving a novel issue of securities and complicated issue of constitutional law (if you have Westlaw, you can look it up at “Ned Majors v. South Carolina Securities Commission”… if you really want help sleeping, just read the opinion!).
I was worried about the case and the oral argument, and was having trouble sleeping. Thankfully, I came across my sleeping cure about 6 weeks out, and it was Psalm 3 from the Bible. The context of the Psalm is pretty fascinating – King David, its author, was hiding out in caves as his son Absalom had taken over his kingdom and forced David to flee for his life out of Jerusalem. Thousands of soldiers loyal to Absalom were hunting David down in the wilderness with the intent of taking his life. Below is what David wrote, and notice the part about sleeping in verse 5. David, surrounded by those who would take his life, was able to sleep peacefully. When I came across this as I was having such trouble with my own sleep, it changed my perspective. I memorized this Psalm and, instead of counting sheep, would just go though this Psalm in my mind as I laid in bed. It worked like a charm, and I was able to fall asleep peacefully every night, even the night before the oral argument. If all else fails, it may be worth a try. Just thought I’d let you know what has worked for me in the past.
Psalm 3
Save Me, O My God
A Psalm of David, when he fled from Absalom his son.
3:1 O Lord, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
2 many are saying of my soul,
there is no salvation for him in God. Selah [1]
3 But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
4 I cried aloud to the Lord,
and he answered me from his holy hill.
5 I lay down and slept;
I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.
6 I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around.
7 Arise, O Lord!
Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
you break the teeth of the wicked.
8 Salvation belongs to the Lord;
your blessing be on your people!
Scott – we loved being with you guys in the mountains – thank you for sharing your time!! Thank you also for sharing this Psalm. I am going to print it out and put it in my bedside table and try it!
take care,
LA
p.s. I cannot BELIEVE you argued in the SC supreme court. I want to hear that story!
I have insomnia myself. I have for about the last 4 or 5 years. I am always thinking and worrying and I’m sure that is the main reason for not sleeping. But even when I don’t think I have anything on my mind I still can’t sleep. Like right now. It is 1220am here in San Antonio, TX and I’m not even sleepy. Tired yes, sleepy no…total difference. There are times when my husband and I go to bed at like 1030 or 11pm. My husband falls asleep as soon as his head his the pillow. The last time I see the time it is 3am and then I have to wake up at 7am for work. I know this is going to catch up to me. I totally have to get this checked out and ASAP before I go crazy. Good luck on getting your insomnia under control.
Ugh – I so know how you feel! My husband can fall asleep standing up – I am so envious of that gift. Good luck getting through your issues. If I find any magical cures, I will blog about it. 🙂
Like you, a good night’s sleep makes a noticeable difference with my psyche. My usual insomnia is simply that I don’t wind down enough to be tired, so I don’t even try to get into bed. But for those radically bad nights, I force myself to get up. I always end up doing the same thing: eating Wheat Thins, drinking a glass of water, and reading a book. It works for me.
I hope you find something that works to change this pattern. It’s a gift to have a mind that is so active, but a curse when it keeps you up with worries.
I like that idea – eating wheat thins, water and a book sounds very peaceful. Thank you for the comment!!
I too have been suffering from insomnia the majority of this year. I’ve went to many doctors, and was met with all sorts of disbelief and just bad information. Based on your lifestyle (activity level, low caffeine, managing stress) – my best advice is; if the issue continues for more than 3-4 weeks go see a doctor. It could be a hormone or thyroid problem keeping you up, so ask them to do some blood work. Drs kept saying my inability to fall asleep was psychological, the TV, or other bad behaviors keeping me awake. But really it’s that whole which came 1st, the chicken or the egg concept. Why am I watching tv at 1 AM, because I can’t sleep, or why am I worrying about snakes….because my brain won’t turn off and go to sleep. Yes, sometimes our thoughts keep us up, but when this cycle goes on for weeks and months, there’s a bigger problem and sleeping pills aren’t always the best answer (unless you enjoy being a zombie). Do try to get up for like 15 mins or so, if you’ve been in bed for a 1 hr or more and can’t sleep. Read a magazine or book under a low lamp, nothing to stimulating thought, like a crime novel. Sometimes this action is enough to reset your self, to try to go to bed again.
For me I had to keep pressing the issue, as everyone thought I was a headcase (history of depression & FMS) and wound up at a sleep clinic. In my interview with them I stated I watched tv in bed…you would have thought I told them I was french kissing my cat. They lectured me to never do such, and to have someone haul my TV out of my room as soon as I got home. The thing is that it never was a problem before, watch a little TV, relax and then go to bed (back to the chicken & the egg theory). In the end I discovered I had a thyroid problem and sleep apnea; 2 weeks into taking Synthroid I was falling asleep like normal again. So sometimes you have to listen to yourself. Hope you can catch some Zs, and tell Oprah to lay off the coffee… she looks a little wired LOL.