December 17th, 2011 
LeeAnn Kindness is extremely important to me.
It is the trait that I most admire in people. My husband’s kindness was what first attracted me to him.
It is how I want to be treated by others. Ironically, I think people being unkind to me at various times has made me a kinder person. For the most part, I have been very fortunate to have kind people in my life.
It is a characteristic that I strive to achieve. I am not always successful. In my self-improvement journey of the past few years, I have worked to become more kind to myself. I have also become committed to be more proactively kind, not just reactively kind, to others.
The older I get, I have noticed that kindness has a more profound effect on me. Maybe it is that I am more aware of it and open to it than I have ever been. To me, seeing kindness is joyful; it is gentle; it can be life changing. Receiving kindness can move me to tears.
Last week, I was the recipient of kindnesses that overwhelmed me. And again I realized how tremendous the effect can be; kindness can change your mood, the way you feel about yourself, the way you treat others, and the way others then treat others.
I had a morning meeting last Friday and was unable to attend my normal early morning yoga class. Instead, I decided to go to a class at 9:30. As soon as I walked into the room, I felt like it was the first day of school and I had just moved into town (been there, done that). None of my friends from the morning class were there. The room was quickly becoming packed. Instead of my normal front row space, I took a space in the back row, in the corner. I sat there and watched as people came into class. To me, it seemed like they were all younger, blonde, fitter, tanner and more attractive – and, of course, more accomplished at yoga. I was setting myself up for a terrible practice and was completely in my head, and not on my mat.
Someone put their mat down next to me and I looked up and saw that it was my beloved instructor from my morning class. She greeted me with her normal infectious enthusiasm and the class started. We were all very close to one another. As we got to the balance poses and had to extend our legs out to the side, my leg was over my neighbor’s (my instructor from the morning class) mat and, basically, right in front of her. As I started to worry about sweating on her mat, I realized that her hand was on my leg, gently supporting it. That happened several more times. Once, when we were on the floor, our hands hit and before I could pull mine away, she grabbed it and squeezed it.
I cannot do justice to those actions with words. Maybe you had to be there, but it turned my practice from what was going to be one of my worst, to one of my best. Because of her gentleness, I was able to stop the destructive thinking and I left class with a more full heart.
The second kindness occurred later that same day.
I have been struggling with my blog lately. I am hoping it is because I am in year-end crunch at work and am more stressed and tired than I usually am. I have been fighting self doubts. The writing of others seems so much more sophisticated … important … timely … learned … and you get the idea. So I have given myself a break this month from my blog, with no pressure to post regularly.
On Friday afternoon, in between drafting documents for work, I rewarded myself by visiting my friend Robin’s blog. Reading Graceful Leadership is one of my favorite leisure activities. Robin writes about her beloved dog, Grace, and then ties Grace’s behavior, and Robin and Grace’s interactions, back to human relationships, and the management of people in the workplace. I learn from Robin and carry her messages with me. I feel so lucky to have gotten to know her through the blogging world; her gentleness and her love for animals is so evident.
As I made my way through Robin’s post that day, I was thrilled to see that she received a much deserved blogging award, and was then shocked to see that she turned around and gave the award to me. The award is called the Liebster Blog Award and, as Robin explained it, “the Liebster Blog Award is named after the German word, liebster, meaning dearest; hence the Liebster Blog Award means Dearest Blog Award. It is an award intended to recognize worthy, lesser known blogs and to help expose their work.”
For the second time that day, I was moved to tears. In both situations, it was almost as if the person sensed my particular insecurities, and reached out and reassured me through their incredible kindness. The high that I felt all weekend from these two women’s acts made me think so much about it and how I want to create those feelings in others. I am even more determined to do so. If we all made the effort to be more kind, imagine the impact on our world. It helps to first surround yourself with kind friends as I have apparently done.
Before I close my post, I have a responsibility to abide by the rules of the Liebster Blog Award, which are as follows: (1) thank the giver and link back to their blog (which I am honored to do); (2) reveal your top five picks, with less than 200 readers, and let them know; (3) copy and paste the award on your blog; and (4) hope that the person you give it to keeps the award moving forward.
Instead of five picks, I am going to limit myself to one blog to highlight. I became friends with Jill through her husband Brian, who so patiently and adeptly helped us to find our home in North Carolina. When Brian forwarded me the link to Jill’s blog, I knew that I had found a kindred spirit, at least in some ways. Jill is an incredibly talented artist, a talent which I envy but certainly do not possess. She and I do share a love for animals though. Her blog follows her beautiful life in the North Carolina mountains, which she and Brian share with three dogs, two horses, two miniature donkeys, a cat and various wild animal visitors (I hope I have that tally correct). It won’t take you long, though, to see who my true love in Jill’s life is; lets just say that Jill, Brian and I all have the same bulldog gene. Please enjoy Jill’s Life with me.
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Wow LeeAnn!! Thank you so much! What an honor. I will most certainly pass this on and Smudge sends kisses. You are so right…a little bit of kindness goes a long way.
Jill – you are so welcome!! I love the kisses from Smudge – and Gracie sends them back. Hope ya’ll have a Merry Christmas – and lets get together sometime in 2012!
Love this post! So often we hesitate to be kind out of a fear that our actions may be perceived as awkward or weak, but truly there is an amazing and enduring power in kindness. BTW, we love your Christmas card. Sarah turned it around so that she can see “sleepy dog.”
Thank you Jen – and you are so right. I fight those fears. So glad that Sarah likes the picture of my sweet Gracie!! Hope ya’ll are doing well and Merry Christmas!
As usual your blog improved my mood. I had been pondering someone’s unkind words toward me. It’s easy to be unkind. It’s a lot harder to be kind. Thanks for such a positive blog. 🙂
Amy – so glad that it helped to cheer you a little!! Hope you are doing ok (and winning your battle with your phone)! : )
The phone is up by like a thousand! I think we’re just gonna call it the outright winner. It’s a love-hate relationship. Hope you are doing well. 🙂
“Receiving kindness can move me to tears”……………………………I can relate to that 100%. This is my favorite blog entry of yours thus far. YOU are one of the kindest people I have ever known. It is so true how kindness can change you as a person. I have learned, as I got older, that being nice, positive, and loving is the best way to live your life. I always feel so sorry for negative and sad people. We have to stand up for everyone and be kind to those we meet every single day. One never knows what that person might be going through. 2011 has been a year I will be glad to say goodbye to. BUT, in saying that, I am also so grateful that in 2011 my children grew a year older, my marriage lasted another year as we celebrated 20 together, and that I met you. I am fortunate to call you a friend. xo
Kelly – I have learned much about kindness from watching you – seriously. I watch you on facebook and in person and you are so kind, loving, supportive and just overall positive with everything you do. And it makes me want to be more that way. It has been a very moving experience for me to watch you through your illness and see how people have come out of the woodwork with love and concern for you. I am not sure I have seen someone with so many friends – and after watching you and how you live your life, I understand why. I have so been waiting for the opportunity to tell you this – you are an incredible role model for being kind and making the effort to support people. I am so glad that we have become friends!! xoxo
It is a good thing I am not sensitive or emotional. (wink wink) I am crying now. HAPPY tears! It is so nice to know that I have made someone feel happy. I have spent 44 years of my life trying to please everyone. It was not until this brain thing that made me realize I have to come into play, too. I have learned that by making myself happy I can pay it forward more. Life is so confusing and there are days I feel like I know nothing. Then, on days like today, I feel like I am wise beyond my years. I feel blessed to have met you and be able to call you my friend. Growing up in Tulsa and still having all the same friends from kindergarten has made me who I am today. I owe it all to them! That wonderful village of people have given me memories and love that will last me a lifetime. I am so fortunate to have you in my village, too. I am here for you anytime! xoxoxooxoxoxoxo
LeeAnn — your post was so inspirational, as they all are in some significant way. As I can see from the comments left here, many people are affected by your kindness and generosity of heart. Your blog is “dearest” to me because of how honest you are with your thoughts, but always reaching for a better way for yourself and others. The other thing about your posts that are different from so many others, is that I read them and find them amazing, and then I walk with them in my mind for days and they mean even more. It’s a gift you have and you never have to worry that your blog is anything less than wonderful. The story of your yoga teacher was especially powerful. Simple, silent acts of kindness offered that completely change the moment. I’m sure it impacted her in the same positive way as it did you. I, too, am very fortunate to have found you in 2011. Wishing you and your family — and especially Gracie — a healthy season and the happiest new year.
Robin – you are one of the most kind and perceptive people that I have had the pleasure of knowing. You have captured my goals in your comment – and made me feel very good about achieving them. I can’t remember if I have said this to you – so forgive me if I am repeating myself – but I can tell that you are incredibly talented at what you do by your ability to read people and situations. It is a true gift. Happy holidays to you and your family – and especially your sweet Grace. I take great pleasure in our new friendship!!
Congratulations on your well-deserved Liebster award! I’m so glad to have found you through Robin! And I look forward to checking out Jill’s blog too!
Thank you Laurie!! I feel like I have quite the standard to hold myself up to with you and Robin as my predecessors! I too am glad to have found you and your blog. I think you are going to push me to act on my passion for animals – and it is about time that I do so. Also – I love that you are in Michigan, which is my home state. I hope you and your family are having a wonderful holiday season!
How funny that you are from Michigan. I am new to the state, but love it here, mainly because of how friendly and down to Earth I’ve found Midwesterners to be. 🙂 I have roots in North Carolina – while I’ve lived all over the United States, I lived in NC for many years (teenage through college years), and my family is still there. I’m so glad you are feeling ready to act on your desire to help animals. Feel free to reach out as you start on that journey – I’ve learned a few things along mine (and I’m still learning). My best to you and your family for the holidays!
You are a gifted writer, LeeAnn. Your posts are always wonderful. I know when I read it, I think to myself (with great pride in a good friend), “She’s way better at this than I can ever hope to be!” It’s funny how we’re all usually thinking the same things, but we’re all on different ladders of perspective, or different steps–you know what I mean.
Thank you for pointing me to a great new blog to read and congratulations on two well-deserved reminders of just what you mean to those around you and how you connect with all of us, whether through a gentle squeeze of the hand or a kind word across cyberspace.
*Hugs*
Jenn – I miss you. Thank you my friend – and yes, I know what you mean. Hugs and love back to you!