December 20th, 2012 
LeeAnn I have missed you.
For some reason, posting on the blog became a bit insurmountable. The longer I was away from it, the more stressful the idea of getting back on it became.
And yet here I am. It feels good to be back.
As we approach the new year, I find myself thinking about what 2013 will bring, and the journey I have travelled in these last several years.
A few years ago, I felt tired. Many things in my life felt old … and worn … and blah. I remember feeling like I had nothing interesting to contribute to conversation. Who wants to hear about commercial finance at a cocktail party (or ever)?
Over the past few years, my horizons have broadened. My life is full of different interests – still some commercial finance, but also yoga, and its physical and mental accompaniments. Together with my friend, I am starting a new business. We are opening a Great Harvest Bread bakery in Savannah. I am so proud of what we are accomplishing. There are many aspects of the new business that ignite my passions – healthy living … marketing … social media … involvement with the community.
This past year, I worked to overcome some paralyzing fears.
My love for animals defines me. It is a huge part of who I am and, in many ways, I live my life in accordance with this passion. Yet I have avoided becoming involved in the causes due to my intense fear of animal cruelty stories.
My excuse has always been that I don’t want to know that such cruelty exists.
Interestingly, by finally acknowledging and facing the harsh reality, it has allowed me to witness and participate in such incredible acts of kindness and love. I am now on the board of directors of the local Humane Society and am an avid follower and supporter of the Georgia English Bulldog Rescue organization. In my opinion, there is a special place in heaven for people who are active with animal rescues. Especially with recent events, it is so important to be reminded that such goodness exists.
At the age of forty-five, I feel a bit like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon.
There are still struggles.
I catch myself setting goals, or focusing on obstacles, and thinking that once I reach that goal, or overcome that obstacle, then my life will be perfect.
I try to recognize these thoughts, and set them aside. Such thoughts cause me to focus on what I don’t have or on something that is not pleasant. In doing so, I tend to miss the incredibly positive aspects of life whirling around me.
So I continue with two steps forward and one back occasionally. Slow and steady progress is ok with me; I never expected to change myself overnight.
Finally, though, I am looking at a new year ahead of me which will be different.
I anticipate high-highs and am sure that there will be some low-lows as well. But I will be living … feeling … and growing. I will no longer accept the status quo out of fear of change.
I see a year of vibrancy, intensity and emotion, not one that is tired and grey.
It is hard for me to adequately describe the feeling for me personally of finally moving forward.
I think it may be peace.
May you all have success in finding your own peace in 2013!
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I’m glad you’re back! 🙂
thank you Missi! : )
Everyone needs something or someone to inspire them. I always read books and watch Ellen when I need to be uplifted or inspired. However, since knowing you, reading your blog, watching you grow as a person before my eyes, (not that you were not a person before)and seeing you reach goals, also contributes to my feelings of inspiration. We often speak of the similarities we share and the things we do not necessarily love about ourselves. It often sends chills up my spine when I feel a tug at my heart and know I have to reach out to you and later find out how perfectly perfect my timing was. There are so many things about you that I love. The obvious things are listed above in your blog. I must admit this time, after reading what you wrote, I feel something stronger than normal. I have spent the past year reflecting on so many things about ME. I have tried to dissect and pick at the flaws I cant stand about ME. I had a year filled with health issues and thankfully none of those things were terminal are “unfixable”. I never lost sight of the fact that I did not have cancer. That is what I kept telling myself so I would not give myself too much credit for overcoming the obstacles placed in front of me. Then, one day, I realized I deserved to feel bad for ME. So what if it wasn’t cancer or that I was not dealing with some tragic event. To me, those little things gnawed at my soul and made me afraid. Once I faced those facts, I realized that 2013 would be different. I would face my fears and make changes. Tunie, I just want you to know that YOU were a HUGE guiding force in my decision to make 2013 MY year. How did you guide me? Simple. I saw this woman who is a bright, VERY successful attorney, animal activist, Yoga GURU, wonderful daughter, incredible wife and friend, fantastic aunt and sister, and almost new business owner, who suffered with the same issues I DO and look at you now! You represent so many things to me and even though we see each other very seldom, I carry your spirit and drive with me all the time. I wish for you a year filled with all the wonderful things you deserve. YOU are an amazing person and I know that you were put in my life for a reason. And, I will never take that for granted.
Kelly – you and I have a very profound bond. I feel intensely connected to you, and it only grows stronger – even though we do not get to see each other often. YOU and YOUR positive energy are a constant inspiration to and for me. I have told you that when I feel low on energy, I visit your facebook site and read your posts and literally soak up your positive vibes. It feeds my soul. Most would have been brought to their knees by the year you have had. Not only were you not, but you didn’t blink in your unceasing support and kindness and strength for your friends and family. I love your love for others. When bad things happen in the world, like last week, your reaction and reaching out to us all with your encouragement gives us ALL strength. You are one of the most gifted people that I have known. I am so proud to be your friend, and so incredibly grateful. xoxo
Hi LeeAnn. So so so so so good to see your post in my Inbox yesterday. And I loved reading your message about your dreams for 2013. I agree with Kelly, that you are amazing in the way you approach life and it’s very inspirational. It’s hard not to think that once we accomplish a certain goal that life will be perfect. And then of course when we reach that goal, we remember that life doesn’t work that way but it seems like we’re wired to act in those ways. You constantly strive to understand and learn more about yourself and others, and I love that about you. I’d love to hear more about your work at the shelter — the things you’ve witnessed and discovered through those experiences. And there are many days when I think to myself: “I wonder what kind of bread LeeAnn is making today?!” May your 2013 be everything and more that you want.
Much love,
Robin
Robin – you have been in my thoughts lately!! You are one that I felt an immediate connection with as well. There is something so empowering about women supporting women. You have been one of my teachers in that regard – and in other ways too. I strive to be the type of manager that you are – one with calmness, kindness and strength. I would love to send you, Pete, Grace and the kitties a holiday card – can you please email me (I think you have my main email – laldridge@huntermaclean.com – your address? Much love back to you!